It was once that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and return to Topeka with a trophy wife that is gorgeous.

It was once that any hopeless American man—no matter exactly exactly how fat, bald, or ugly—could journey to Moscow and return to Topeka with a trophy wife that is gorgeous. But as a result of a booming Putin-era economy—and all the prosperity and gold-plated Land...